This debut self-titled release by Hurry Up combines all my favorite things. They are a trio, no frills, from the Northwest, carry two members of The Thermals and one from Bangs, and mix two favorite styles of angst; Pitchfork/Jehu/Hot Snakes when the male vocals take over and Riot Grrrl when the female vocals are leading the way. PUNK LIVES!
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Mistaking Music Chemistry for Dating Chemistry
Recently Gretchen Kelly wrote a piece called The Thing All Women Do That You Don't Know About. It perfectly describes a female conditioning that begins when we are very young and are faced uncomfortable male attention time and time again. It often starts quietly. A man shows or states their interest in us sexually and when we respond with a polite no, we are hit with a volley back of verbal insults. threats, and sometimes an angry physical response. Any or all of this can be terrifying.
In my mid 20s I was walking to work in the morning and passed a construction crew. One man started yelling at me as I approached the work sight. I ignored him but rather than just stop shouting at me, he screamed even more vulgar things. I finally stopped and told him to stop shouting at me. I was furious, insulted, and it ended with me yelling an obscenity back at him while giving him the finger. This flipped his switch. I went from being an object of desire to a bitch. He proceeded to follow me a block screaming insults about my stinking private parts, circling me, and ended his tirade with a shove and the statement that " I was trying to do you a favor you ****, even ugly girls need to feel pretty!"
After enough of these kinds of exchanges I was conditioned to deal with people like this as passively as possible. I became skilled at disarming bombs. I did not want to draw attention to the situation. I didn't make eye contact. I quickly crossed streets away from them. I began wearing headphones to block their comments out completely until one day a man grabbed them off my head to tell me I had a nice ass while groping it. Most city women know what it is like to have a man on a crowded train pinned next to you rub his erection on you and / or play with himself through his pockets. Insanely these run-ins become a normal day in a big city. Women learn to silently go about our business after each of these awful events. Rather than face confrontation we learn how to get to a safer situation and brush off these men. I am not saying this is always the correct way to handle these moments but when you are trying to get to school or work or home, sometimes all you want to do is arrive in one piece and get through your day without a scene.
I have lived in cities my entire adult life and when you walk everywhere these exchanges happen more often than not. In fact, so often that all the yelling and occasional groping stops being something I told friends, family, or co-workers about. These were my depressing secrets and I am no less relieved to learn that I am not alone in carrying this burden.
None of this however prepared me for the flip switch with men I knew well. This situation becomes a thousand times more complicated when it is a "friend" or acquaintance who puts you in this position. There is also a circle of mutual friends around the two of you to add extra layers of drama. Your home or shared spaces become tainted by the nightmare of harassment. What should be a cut and dry "no thank you" situation can grow destructive tentacles and end friendships, divide a group of friends, or in my case, kill a band.
Life experiences had prepared me for random sexist attitudes towards the things I did however I was not prepared for that kind of call to come from inside my house. Playing music with others is a sacred, family bond to me. I understand it isn't like this for everyone but as someone who does not have much family, I take my band family very seriously and extend to them a great deal of respect and kindness. They become my brothers and sisters. Not once but several times different band members crossed the line with me. They misunderstood our band chemistry for a sexual chemistry and when I replied with a thoughtful but firm "NO", each time I punished for my choice. Either I was pushed out of the band for being a problem member for some random made up thing that didn't exist before I said no or I was cut out from their life completely. In all cases the band ended and our friendships dissolved. Each time I felt like was part of a hit and run crime scene.
These situations were never discussed with the rest of the band and I rarely talked about it with friends. I mistakenly carried guilt (as so often victims do) for somehow leading them on when this was never the case. It was easier to be blackballed than face the stress of trying to explain to everyone around us what really happened. I feared harsh judgement from people who may not believe me or fully grasp the situation. I understand these men felt embarrassed for misreading our band chemistry and had bruised egos but I regret that I was the one who always felt like it was a dirty secret I should be ashamed of. Only one of these men has apologized to me over the years and in turn has been welcomed back into my life. Neither my creative relationship or friendship has been recovered with the others. These have become permanent scars I have had to live with.
It takes courage to openly discuss hurt feelings when a come-on is not reciprocated. As a younger person, I was not that brave. I did not want to stir the pot and in turn chose the no less kinder route of being pushed out and cut off. I always moved on, continued to make music, but have felt haunted by these past run ins even after all these years. I would very much like to spare others from this experience and offer others encouragement to speak up and out.
I now better understand now how band member wires can get crossed. When you play in a very active touring band together, you spend a lot of time in cramped quarters with one another. Hell, you might even have to share a bed in a hotel room when all you can afford is one room with two twin beds. You live and breathe these people daily. You share. You talk. You occasionally touch. There is a genuine connection and communication that happens between band members and for some people that exciting click can get confused for something more. Band dedication merges with personal dedication. I think it is important to stress that this is not strictly a male to female disconnect as it can go both ways. Misunderstandings and big feelings happen but it is how each of you handle it that is key.
No two relationships are the same and this is absolutely true for the dynamic between band members. Each situation and person is different and my philosophy on how to handle this has become my personal philosophy as well. The people I have let into my world are treated with love, compassion, respect, and an open mind. I am not perfect and I do not expect others to be either. I do however expect to be treated well in return. I believe you can say just about anything to a friend if it is stated in a thoughtful and kind manner (hence our band name Positive No).
If there are feelings of any kind that fall outside of playing music together that need to be discussed, I recommend doing so with a clear head. I do not suggest getting drunk and gushing emotions that may not be worded as carefully as you might sober. This is important stuff to talk about openly and honestly. You don't want anything to cloud judgement and further muddy communication. Hormones are distracting enough as it is.
There is no right way for this situation to play out. If you are both consenting adults who want to try to date while in a band together, good luck with that! It can work but you need to remain mindful of the rest of the band who has to play music and tour with a couple. Trust me, as a person approaching year seven of dating a band member (we were dates first, band members second), it is not easy task and could / should be an article in itself.
If you have fallen for a band member and can't hide your feelings any longer, be thoughtful about your next step. Before making a blind pass, think before you act. I know this is easier said than done, especially in a culture of late nights and party-like atmospheres. Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. If approached correctly, a band member who is not interested in dating will take it all in stride and the band will carry on as normal. The harder part might be dusting yourself off and letting your ego take a hit.
Lastly if there is a band member who approaches you in a way that feels wrong, uncomfortable, or inappropriate, speak up immediately. The first responsibility is for you to take care of you and let this other person know they have crossed a line with you. A real friend and band member will back off and honor your feelings. No band is worth feeling unsafe or disrespected for. If your fellow band members aren't responsive in a way that makes you feel comfortable, you probably don't want to be in a band with them either. A person who lashes out at your choice to say no is not worthy of your time as a creative partner or friend.
I may have regrets about how I handled these hurdles in my past but there should be zero shame in a no. You should never have to be punished for not having a mutual feeling of interest towards someone. Your artistic world doesn't have to end when these band family members betray your trust. The lesson to be learned here is knowing you are better off without a person like that in your life. Creating art should be your safe place. Anyone who challenges or threatens that is a splinter that needs to be pulled, not lived with.
In my mid 20s I was walking to work in the morning and passed a construction crew. One man started yelling at me as I approached the work sight. I ignored him but rather than just stop shouting at me, he screamed even more vulgar things. I finally stopped and told him to stop shouting at me. I was furious, insulted, and it ended with me yelling an obscenity back at him while giving him the finger. This flipped his switch. I went from being an object of desire to a bitch. He proceeded to follow me a block screaming insults about my stinking private parts, circling me, and ended his tirade with a shove and the statement that " I was trying to do you a favor you ****, even ugly girls need to feel pretty!"
After enough of these kinds of exchanges I was conditioned to deal with people like this as passively as possible. I became skilled at disarming bombs. I did not want to draw attention to the situation. I didn't make eye contact. I quickly crossed streets away from them. I began wearing headphones to block their comments out completely until one day a man grabbed them off my head to tell me I had a nice ass while groping it. Most city women know what it is like to have a man on a crowded train pinned next to you rub his erection on you and / or play with himself through his pockets. Insanely these run-ins become a normal day in a big city. Women learn to silently go about our business after each of these awful events. Rather than face confrontation we learn how to get to a safer situation and brush off these men. I am not saying this is always the correct way to handle these moments but when you are trying to get to school or work or home, sometimes all you want to do is arrive in one piece and get through your day without a scene.
I have lived in cities my entire adult life and when you walk everywhere these exchanges happen more often than not. In fact, so often that all the yelling and occasional groping stops being something I told friends, family, or co-workers about. These were my depressing secrets and I am no less relieved to learn that I am not alone in carrying this burden.
None of this however prepared me for the flip switch with men I knew well. This situation becomes a thousand times more complicated when it is a "friend" or acquaintance who puts you in this position. There is also a circle of mutual friends around the two of you to add extra layers of drama. Your home or shared spaces become tainted by the nightmare of harassment. What should be a cut and dry "no thank you" situation can grow destructive tentacles and end friendships, divide a group of friends, or in my case, kill a band.
Life experiences had prepared me for random sexist attitudes towards the things I did however I was not prepared for that kind of call to come from inside my house. Playing music with others is a sacred, family bond to me. I understand it isn't like this for everyone but as someone who does not have much family, I take my band family very seriously and extend to them a great deal of respect and kindness. They become my brothers and sisters. Not once but several times different band members crossed the line with me. They misunderstood our band chemistry for a sexual chemistry and when I replied with a thoughtful but firm "NO", each time I punished for my choice. Either I was pushed out of the band for being a problem member for some random made up thing that didn't exist before I said no or I was cut out from their life completely. In all cases the band ended and our friendships dissolved. Each time I felt like was part of a hit and run crime scene.
These situations were never discussed with the rest of the band and I rarely talked about it with friends. I mistakenly carried guilt (as so often victims do) for somehow leading them on when this was never the case. It was easier to be blackballed than face the stress of trying to explain to everyone around us what really happened. I feared harsh judgement from people who may not believe me or fully grasp the situation. I understand these men felt embarrassed for misreading our band chemistry and had bruised egos but I regret that I was the one who always felt like it was a dirty secret I should be ashamed of. Only one of these men has apologized to me over the years and in turn has been welcomed back into my life. Neither my creative relationship or friendship has been recovered with the others. These have become permanent scars I have had to live with.
It takes courage to openly discuss hurt feelings when a come-on is not reciprocated. As a younger person, I was not that brave. I did not want to stir the pot and in turn chose the no less kinder route of being pushed out and cut off. I always moved on, continued to make music, but have felt haunted by these past run ins even after all these years. I would very much like to spare others from this experience and offer others encouragement to speak up and out.
I now better understand now how band member wires can get crossed. When you play in a very active touring band together, you spend a lot of time in cramped quarters with one another. Hell, you might even have to share a bed in a hotel room when all you can afford is one room with two twin beds. You live and breathe these people daily. You share. You talk. You occasionally touch. There is a genuine connection and communication that happens between band members and for some people that exciting click can get confused for something more. Band dedication merges with personal dedication. I think it is important to stress that this is not strictly a male to female disconnect as it can go both ways. Misunderstandings and big feelings happen but it is how each of you handle it that is key.
No two relationships are the same and this is absolutely true for the dynamic between band members. Each situation and person is different and my philosophy on how to handle this has become my personal philosophy as well. The people I have let into my world are treated with love, compassion, respect, and an open mind. I am not perfect and I do not expect others to be either. I do however expect to be treated well in return. I believe you can say just about anything to a friend if it is stated in a thoughtful and kind manner (hence our band name Positive No).
If there are feelings of any kind that fall outside of playing music together that need to be discussed, I recommend doing so with a clear head. I do not suggest getting drunk and gushing emotions that may not be worded as carefully as you might sober. This is important stuff to talk about openly and honestly. You don't want anything to cloud judgement and further muddy communication. Hormones are distracting enough as it is.
There is no right way for this situation to play out. If you are both consenting adults who want to try to date while in a band together, good luck with that! It can work but you need to remain mindful of the rest of the band who has to play music and tour with a couple. Trust me, as a person approaching year seven of dating a band member (we were dates first, band members second), it is not easy task and could / should be an article in itself.
If you have fallen for a band member and can't hide your feelings any longer, be thoughtful about your next step. Before making a blind pass, think before you act. I know this is easier said than done, especially in a culture of late nights and party-like atmospheres. Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. If approached correctly, a band member who is not interested in dating will take it all in stride and the band will carry on as normal. The harder part might be dusting yourself off and letting your ego take a hit.
Lastly if there is a band member who approaches you in a way that feels wrong, uncomfortable, or inappropriate, speak up immediately. The first responsibility is for you to take care of you and let this other person know they have crossed a line with you. A real friend and band member will back off and honor your feelings. No band is worth feeling unsafe or disrespected for. If your fellow band members aren't responsive in a way that makes you feel comfortable, you probably don't want to be in a band with them either. A person who lashes out at your choice to say no is not worthy of your time as a creative partner or friend.
I may have regrets about how I handled these hurdles in my past but there should be zero shame in a no. You should never have to be punished for not having a mutual feeling of interest towards someone. Your artistic world doesn't have to end when these band family members betray your trust. The lesson to be learned here is knowing you are better off without a person like that in your life. Creating art should be your safe place. Anyone who challenges or threatens that is a splinter that needs to be pulled, not lived with.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Canadian Electro-Chaos : Duchess Says
Imagine if Melt Banana remade Goblin's Suspiria or if the Yeah Yeah Yeahs provoked a nest of cyber bees. Duchess Says from Montreal takes electro / prog rock tools and uses them to create spastic chaos that does not rely on melody to drive their songs. They take a 2-D keyboard band experience and turn it into a 3-D force of nature that darts towards you at the speed of light.
In fact vocalist Annie Claude Deschênes might even tangle with you on stage so when I say this band comes at you, I mean it literally and figuratively.
Meet the exact opposite of boring.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Fighting the Good Fight
Did you know that fewer than 5% of record producers and sound engineers are women? How about that when you review a huge festival line up, the number of women headliners of the bill make up for maybe one tenth of the line up? The numbers are discouraging when it comes to women verse men in the music industry however more and more women are working hard to change that number.
Antye Greie-Ripatti inspired by a 2015 interview with Björk who openly described women's role in music as "unacknowledged" and "uncredited" from personal experience, launched a Tumblr page called female:pressure that gives visibility to female producers, DJ's, media artists, and electronic music performers at work. The idea is that the more of us there are documenting our work and celebrating the work of our female peers is to remind people that women making music is normal and happening daily all over the world.
For more statistics of women in the music industry, go here. If you are making music behind the scenes and feel comfortable sharing images of it, you should post them on your social media pages and or pass them along to sites like female:pressure to share with their readers. As I write this I am reminded that I need to do this more too as I often record at home and never think to document this part of my writing process. I intend to practice what I preach.
I am far from technical when it comes to getting down my ideas for a new song. I have a PC and use a program called Mixcraft 5 to record my vocal rough drafts for Positive No and have also used this program to write whole songs electronically for my solo project Ringfinger.
Antye Greie-Ripatti inspired by a 2015 interview with Björk who openly described women's role in music as "unacknowledged" and "uncredited" from personal experience, launched a Tumblr page called female:pressure that gives visibility to female producers, DJ's, media artists, and electronic music performers at work. The idea is that the more of us there are documenting our work and celebrating the work of our female peers is to remind people that women making music is normal and happening daily all over the world.
For more statistics of women in the music industry, go here. If you are making music behind the scenes and feel comfortable sharing images of it, you should post them on your social media pages and or pass them along to sites like female:pressure to share with their readers. As I write this I am reminded that I need to do this more too as I often record at home and never think to document this part of my writing process. I intend to practice what I preach.
I am far from technical when it comes to getting down my ideas for a new song. I have a PC and use a program called Mixcraft 5 to record my vocal rough drafts for Positive No and have also used this program to write whole songs electronically for my solo project Ringfinger.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
New Album Alert : Our Girl
Looking forward to Our Girl's Cannibal Hymns out December 11th. They hail from the seaside resort of Brighton, England and began as more of a solo effort of member Soph Nathan but have expanded into a trio that deliver smokey, reverbed slow burners that reminds me of the days when Madder Rose, Lush, and Bettie Serveert ruled the earth. The good news that these days have seemingly cycled back around and more of this brooding, dynamic Pop bathed in shoegazery is back.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Apple Music and iTunes is Dead to Me
As if it wasn't frustrating enough that with every iTunes software update, those of us who use iTunes to manage our large digital music catalog are faced with endless glitches and headaches, the head of Apple Music Jimmy Iovine went on CBS This Morning to say "I've always known that women find it very difficult at times - some women - to find music."
Unbelievably his sexist comments continued. "I just thought of a problem. Girls are sitting around... talking about boys right? Or complaining about boys. Or they're heartbroken or whatever. They need music for that, and it's hard to find music."
Are you fucking kidding me?
I can't imagine a better time for music fans of any and all genders to find music. There are literally thousands of ways to discover music and it terrifies that the head of Apple Music isn't clued in to this. It goes without saying it is also mortifying that he singled out "girls" as being especially helpless at finding music and even though he has since apologized for for his mansplaining, I am done with Apple and iTunes until this man is fired. It should also be noted that none of the women sitting around the table with this jackass stood up to him for his sexist idiocy. I am equally disappointed with them as well. We don't have to accept or tolerate this kind of thinking about the portion of music fans who are women. SPOILER ALERT : THERE ARE A LOT OF US ! ! !
Apple was already alienating those of us who own large amounts of digital music as they focus on cloud based services and radio style forced discovery playlists generated for us so to me, this is the final nail in their coffin. I am done with Apple. As a music fanatic who also happens to be a women, I not only deserve better, I expect better from the companies who pride themselves as music innovators.
Unbelievably his sexist comments continued. "I just thought of a problem. Girls are sitting around... talking about boys right? Or complaining about boys. Or they're heartbroken or whatever. They need music for that, and it's hard to find music."
Are you fucking kidding me?
I can't imagine a better time for music fans of any and all genders to find music. There are literally thousands of ways to discover music and it terrifies that the head of Apple Music isn't clued in to this. It goes without saying it is also mortifying that he singled out "girls" as being especially helpless at finding music and even though he has since apologized for for his mansplaining, I am done with Apple and iTunes until this man is fired. It should also be noted that none of the women sitting around the table with this jackass stood up to him for his sexist idiocy. I am equally disappointed with them as well. We don't have to accept or tolerate this kind of thinking about the portion of music fans who are women. SPOILER ALERT : THERE ARE A LOT OF US ! ! !
Apple was already alienating those of us who own large amounts of digital music as they focus on cloud based services and radio style forced discovery playlists generated for us so to me, this is the final nail in their coffin. I am done with Apple. As a music fanatic who also happens to be a women, I not only deserve better, I expect better from the companies who pride themselves as music innovators.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Throwback Thursday : The Flirts
A few days ago I mentioned The Flirts while writing about Dirty Ghosts. I have had The Flirts most well know single "Jukebox (Don't Put Another Dime)" in my head ever since.
The Flirts however were not a band in the traditional sense, they were a creation of music mogul Bobby "O" Orlando who wrote the music, played the instruments, produced the the tracks, and then looked for one redhead, one blonde, and one brunette to sing the songs and tour. Needless to say there was a long string of different women who fulfilled this role who were hired guns from a background in modeling, dancing, and acting who more often that not lip synced live. The Flirts may have been a rotating cast of characters and a facade of a girl band but for a decade, there were a string of hits recorded under that name and "Jukebox" remains an '80s classic. 1982 to be exact.
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